Aside from liking your use of alliteration and consonance, I like that I, the reader, who ascended before the poem began, now descend to the river, while realizing, through that deacending journey - I imagine myself floating down in the air - the meaning of the adcending and acended mist. There is a unity in the opposites here, of ascent and descent. One knows the one through the other. Thanks for this poem.
Somehow this poem felt like an answer to a very specific query I sent out into the void--like an answer to prayer, if I still prayed. Beautiful reading of it as well. Thank you Brian for sharing your work here
There's so much atmosphere in this poem, created by the very first few lines and carried throughout to the end. Fragility, ephemera, but also a beauty in the transience. Those are my immediate feels here ☺️
Your gift is in touching this place... this is beautiful timing and one of the threads I’m seeing in it follows a conversation with a friend only minutes ago about letting it go.
Letting go of what others think, how we judge ourselves, how we hold tightly to certain things, and then to know that compassion, like many attributes we seek, is like mist and we play with it through our lives. It is not something we can grab hold of and then say, tick, I have it now 💦
Loved this and looking forward to the reflection, thank you!
The River of Time we all swim in where “questions glisten” ... the images in this sweeping word-landscape evokes a deep sense of wonder and an urgency to be present. Nice work, Brian.
Such a great image to finish. You really get a feel for the effort needed a find the answers.. the journey, the contemplation, the determination to put to rest what is behind
I thought the use of imperative voice was excellent to keep the structure of your poem consistent. I’m working on poetic structure in my own poetry, so I have a special admiration for when it’s done well!
Do you have a take on when the imperative voice is done well vs when it’s just intrusive? So often I land on “feel”, but I’m not always sure what makes it feel right...
I think it’s in the subtlety. If you’re constantly talking to the reader in that voice I think it changes the poem in a huge way. Sometimes that’s what you want, but in a poem like yours I think having it more like a refrain is a great move.
Aside from liking your use of alliteration and consonance, I like that I, the reader, who ascended before the poem began, now descend to the river, while realizing, through that deacending journey - I imagine myself floating down in the air - the meaning of the adcending and acended mist. There is a unity in the opposites here, of ascent and descent. One knows the one through the other. Thanks for this poem.
Hans, beautiful commentary and feedback. It makes me happy you found yourself in this place!
Thanks, and sorry for the typos! :-)
Somehow this poem felt like an answer to a very specific query I sent out into the void--like an answer to prayer, if I still prayed. Beautiful reading of it as well. Thank you Brian for sharing your work here
Thanks Jason. I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. 🧡
"grieve with leaves whose plans
to shade were cut short,
and touch river stones
worn smooth by millennia of flow"
Gorgeous.
There's so much atmosphere in this poem, created by the very first few lines and carried throughout to the end. Fragility, ephemera, but also a beauty in the transience. Those are my immediate feels here ☺️
Thanks for your reflection Nathan!
Your gift is in touching this place... this is beautiful timing and one of the threads I’m seeing in it follows a conversation with a friend only minutes ago about letting it go.
Letting go of what others think, how we judge ourselves, how we hold tightly to certain things, and then to know that compassion, like many attributes we seek, is like mist and we play with it through our lives. It is not something we can grab hold of and then say, tick, I have it now 💦
Loved this and looking forward to the reflection, thank you!
Thank you for reading Kali! So much we try to hold to us mist... 🌫️
Beautiful poem Brian...
I love this:
"but you sit
on top of your world
looking down,
as if what you seek
will rise to you
the way mist rises"
Thank you Pamela✨, so thankful to you for reading!
I love your poetry! It totally resonates with me.
wonderful
all the elements that teach me the most and that I believe in life are here in your poem
they are there all inside you then ❤️
the horizon, sky, the river, the beauties and the uncertainties
a entrega total
And love
Thank you Berkana! I love including natural elements. After all, that’s what each of us is 🧡
The River of Time we all swim in where “questions glisten” ... the images in this sweeping word-landscape evokes a deep sense of wonder and an urgency to be present. Nice work, Brian.
Thanks Ann. So glad you’re here! ☺️
"glisten with the drops of yesterday" that's a killer line! I felt it... such an atmospheric poem and beautifully recited 💗
Chasey, thank you! I’m glad you felt it. When I read poetry, sometimes I “get” it, but my favorite poetry is the poetry I feel 🏔️
I just saved "questions / glisten with the drops of yesterday" in my favorite metaphors folder.
That makes me happy :)
The moment of epiphany that leads us where we should be.
They’re beautiful when they happen!
Such a great image to finish. You really get a feel for the effort needed a find the answers.. the journey, the contemplation, the determination to put to rest what is behind
"compassion rising as mist
through the forest
blown by the wind
up through the hills
to disappear
without answer"
I’m glad it resonated! Thank you for reading!
'where your questions glisten with the drops of yesterday' - wonderful expression of letting go ...
Enjoyed this poem !
Excellent, thank you!
I thought the use of imperative voice was excellent to keep the structure of your poem consistent. I’m working on poetic structure in my own poetry, so I have a special admiration for when it’s done well!
Do you have a take on when the imperative voice is done well vs when it’s just intrusive? So often I land on “feel”, but I’m not always sure what makes it feel right...
I think it’s in the subtlety. If you’re constantly talking to the reader in that voice I think it changes the poem in a huge way. Sometimes that’s what you want, but in a poem like yours I think having it more like a refrain is a great move.
Thanks Samuel! Nice to submeet you 🙂
loaded with cool images
Thanks Weston!
i read and i feel your presence breathing in the tempo of my breath;
it's beautiful
What a great compliment, thank you!
thank you likewise for sharing this beautiful poem
I felt this in my bones. So beautiful.
Thanks Troy! Glad it resonated ✨